THE SKILLED LOVER

There was a man with a talent with no explanation
It's in no manual or skill registration
It's an ability for which no sane man would covet
And not even a desperate woman would love it
He was not psychotic or bitter or hateful
But encounters with Dave would always be fatal
You'd never believe it whether whispered or said
But Dave made you cum until you were dead

Dave first found his talent with a clubber called Lucy
Dave was charming and soon got her juicy
Dave wanted to be responsible, kind
There was no murder or hate on his mind
He reached in his pocket and pulled out his rubber
And keen Lucy dressed him with the skill of a clubber
In no time at all they were wrestling as one
It was all harmless grown-up and sensual fun

It got ever more frantic and the climax soon came
Dave felt her pleasure explode into flame 
Her contractions began as you'd expect them to do
He thought they would last for a minute or two
But Lucy's ecstasy just kept on going
Her muscles kept twitching, secretions kept flowing
And after five minutes Dave then got worried
He'd already exploded and wished her more hurried

It's normal at climax for you to stop breathing
And then breathe again as contractions start easing
But after ten minutes Lucy just was not stopping
And O2-starved cells in her brain started popping
Though now unconscious Lucy just wasn't ending
Dave got off her but it was beyond mending
Shocked and confused he tried to revive her
But Lucy's strained heart just gave out inside her

A terrified Dave just fled from the scene
You must understand if that sounds kind of mean
For this kind of thing Dave just wasn't prepared
Who would have believed him? Who would of cared?
The Police decided to take it no further
When pathologists said that this wasn't murder
Poor Lucy had died of "natural" causes
"Perhaps Ondine's Curse" said one behind gauzes

Dave had concluded it wasn't his fault
Though he was feeling bad he'd decided to bolt
This illusion he lived in, in a fairly calm manner
Until one fateful night, he met Diana
When Diana expired in just the same way
"Oh no not again!" was all Dave could say
 As he fled from the scene he thought "lightning strikes twice"
But even Dave didn't think that bad lightning strikes thrice

So when Sarah died in his trembling arms
He resolved to longer go try out his charms
He swore he would pursue a life on the shelf
And when things got desperate he'd pleasure himself
And so Dave received his Darwin Award
One lonely cold night when horny and bored
As he grabbed hold of his firm bulging thing
He thought he was immune to his own deadly sting

So Dave just relaxed and let himself go
A tissue readied to catch all the flow
He thought that afterwards he would feel better
But those who then found him would remember forever
The look of delight on his cold bluish face
Forever frozen by Death's cold embrace
Some genetic mutations are not very useful
And so they make way for others more fruitful